Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale's senior pastor, Bob Coy, speaks to the CCA high school chapel about "sex" and its place in God's economy.

“God knows what’s best for us, especially when it comes to sex.”—Senior Pastor Bob Coy

“Sex is great, but love is better,” said Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale’s Senior Pastor, Bob Coy, as he started his “Pursuit of Love” teaching at the high school chapel on Friday, February 25. His bold statement evoked some giggles, whispers, and even laughter from the audience, a natural immature response that he was expecting but one that he gently rebuked. “Stop your giggling and talking, because I really want you to hear this.”

Pastor Bob’s message cut to the core and made us think about the real differences between love and passion and how often society confuses the two. Sadly and sometimes even strategically, it programs its media to target the next generation to follow the thinking that sex equals love, and love equals sex—simply because sex sells. During his teaching, Pastor Bob drew our attention to various verses in the Bible where God clearly shows the various kinds of love:

• Philio is love between friends
• Eros is the sense of being in love
• Storge is affection, love of family
• Agape is unconditional love

After the teaching, we had an opportunity to ask Pastor Bob to share his heart behind the message. Here’s what he had to say:

AA: Sex is a hard topic to talk about. But as we were going into our Pursuit of Love, Pursuit of Passion, what prompted you to speak at the high school chapel about this subject?

PB: A big part of Christianity is recognizing you have an enemy, and understanding his tactics. Here’s what I’ve learned in the past 30 years of being a believer; one of Satan’s most effective weapons of choice is sex. I have seen more Christians thrown off course from following Jesus because of sex than anything else. Not the version of sex that God provides and prescribes, but the distorted version that the enemy peddles instead.

Another tactic he will use is this; he will attack early when we’re young because if he can knock us off balance when we’re young and vulnerable, we won’t be a threat as we grow. And in our course of growth, sex is often the first real opportunity that he has to get his hooks into us.

So when I take a step back and see Satan’s strategy of using sex and attacking early, I’m compelled to do something about it. I want to out-flank our enemy, and the best way to do that is to talk about it, and to talk about how God has set sex up to be a blessing instead of a snare.

AA: What did you want the students to get from this message?

PB: I want students to walk away with a greater sense of God being for them and not against them. It’s very easy to look at a subject like sex and to get a distorted view of God from it. “Why doesn’t He want me to just go with what feels good? Maybe it’s because He wants to make my life fun-free.”

In fact, the exact opposite is true. God loves us so much that He wants us to experience the best possible type of life. And one of the ways He does that is by telling us, “Hey, this thing called sex, there’s a way for it be an incredible blessing, and there’s a way for it to burn and burden you for the rest of your life.  Let me show you how to experience this in a way that’s going to be best for you.”

I want students to see that God is for them, not just when it comes to sex, but when it comes to every other area of their life. Once a person gets that, their faith becomes rock-solid and they’re set to handle whatever comes their way. Imparting that understanding to someone starting out in life is the best thing I can do for them.

AA: No doubt that this is sometimes a hard subject to discuss, but if you only had five minutes to talk to the next generation about this topic, what would be your one liner or an impacting last remark?

PB: God knows what’s best for us, especially when it comes to sex. If we try to enjoy or experience it any other way, it’s like trying to quench our thirst with saltwater; it never satisfies and always leaves us thirsting for more.

On Wednesday, March 23, our CCA community participated in the Calvary Fast, an event hosted by Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale to come together as a body. “In the past, the decision to invite the church body to take part in a time of corporate prayer and fasting has come from a spirit-led sense in my heart that it’s what He wanted us to experience together as a church family,” said Senior Pastor Bob Coy, who added that there have been other times when a particular situation or event prompted it.

Most recently, it was a combination of both.  “A stirring had started in my heart to do something that would help us draw closer to God, and with the Love Out Louder event planned at the beginning of April, it was the perfect opportunity to combine the power of prayer and fasting with our heart to bless and serve our community,” Pastor Bob said.

Some of the CCA community volunteered to skip breakfast and or lunch to pray for the CCFL Love Out Louder Day and other issues related to the school and students.  “We wanted to unite and come together as one body to follow through with a spiritual discipline that hopefully would bear great fruit,” explained Aaron Mills, Director of CCA Discipleship, who saw the incredible ministry that happened on Love Out Louder Day as an answered prayer.

Secondary Bible teacher, Leo Reilly facilitated a corporate time of worship and prayer in the Calvary Chapel Theatre on Wednesday afternoon, where some students led the secondary school body in worship and prayer. As for the rest of the church body, it was an awesome way to come together and many were blessed, including Pastor Bob, whose prayer to bless the Lord was definitely answered.

“Three specific prayers of mine were answered,” he said. “First, and most importantly, God was blessed, because He so loves and wants relationship with us.  Prayer and fasting is a way for our relational link with Him to be stronger and more powerful than at any other time on this side of heaven.  Second, we were blessed. Just as the power of prayer and fasting blesses God by building up our bond with Him, it has the mutual effect on us.

It’s not like God is going to be blessed and we aren’t. What blesses Him, blesses us. And I know that those who made it a point to take advantage of this time experienced a closeness with the Lord that you can ’t even define with words.  Finally, I know the people we served through Love Out Louder were blessed because it was God’s Spirit who moved in such a powerful and effective way as we sought His help. The right words were shared, the right things were done, and it was all fueled by the right motives.

Prayer and fasting opens the way for that to be a reality, and its reality is backed-up by so many stories of how God used our outreach to reach so many who need His help.”

We asked Pastor Bob if a Calvary Fast is something that Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale will be doing as a church more often, and he said he sure hopes so. “God has the best ideas of anyone, and prayer combined with fasting is His idea,” he said.  “It gives us the chance to bless Him, ourselves, and others. We’d be foolish if we didn’t take advantage of it. As for when, I want to make sure we keep it as a spirit-led activity for our fellowship. So I don’t want to make it a scheduled or scripted thing. But as we remain sensitive to the heartbeat of God, I definitely see us as a church family gathering around the function of prayer and fasting as He leads.”

For those of us who have been raised in a private, Christian school this verse can oftentimes come off as overused and cliché. We’ve known it ever since we were able to read and write and can recite it in at least two different versions with flawless diction. However, since fellow believers constantly surround us, we rarely stop and truly reflect on these powerful verses of Scripture and how commanding they are, especially outside of our safe, Christian-school boundaries.

In early March, I had the opportunity to visit the college I will be attending next fall. As it is not a Christian college, I started asking other students and professors about the spiritual life on campus. I was curious as to what organizations or groups were active to help students live out their faith while in college. I was thoroughly surprised, though, that many of the students said they weren’t involved with “those” activities or groups. Right then and there, I realized that my faith and beliefs would be tested in a profound way once I ventured off to school. I contemplated how I could share my faith in a way that would be receptive to others, whose hearts may have been hardened to Christians in general.

I believe that in order to effectively share the Gospel with nonbelievers, our actions and words need to match. It is important for us to know and fully comprehend that nonbelievers study God’s people—not God’s Word. My prayer is that the Lord will provide me with plenty of opportunities to share His goodness simply through my actions so that people’s curiosity is piqued enough to want to know His Word. I pray it’s not just through participation in groups such as Campus Crusade for Christ or InterVarsity, but in smaller actions such as choosing not to participate in certain activities, performing small acts of kindness for my roommates, or simply sitting out on the grass on a cool spring day reading my Bible.

We should all be willing vessels of His Spirit, no matter where we are or what we are doing , whether we’re at a Christian college or secular university.

As followers of Christ at CCA, we are often called to a higher standard than simply reading our Bibles, doing our devotions, and spending time in prayer; these things we should do, but there is a point in our spiritual growth when God begins to challenge us to go beyond that.

One way we can begin to grow more spiritually mature is by becoming familiar with other religions. One of the fastest growing religions in the world at this time is Islam: one in every five people is a Muslim. Though it may seem thousands of miles from our predominantly Christian nation, we are responsible to be aware of different religions and belief systems. Many of us are aware of the basics of Islam, but let’s delve a little deeper into the reason behind this religion which great portion of our population embraces.

What is so enticing about Islam? To refresh ourselves with the basics, Islam is a monotheistic religion. Muslims believe that Allah is the one true god, and Muhammad is his greatest prophet. Fifteen hundred years ago in Saudi Arabia, Muhammad claimed to have been visited by an angel named Gabriel who gave him messages for a period of twenty-three years. But Muslims believe there were Muslim prophets even before Muhammad; he was the last and superlative, known as the “seal of the prophets.”

Adam is said to have been the first prophet, followed by many biblical characters such as Abraham, Moses, David, and Jesus Christ himself. After the death of Muhammad, however, the Muslims could not decide on an appropriate successor, so they split into two groups, differing in their traditions: Sunnis and Shi’ites. Today, the majority of all Muslims are Sunnis.

Like Christians, Muslims believe in heaven and hell, but unlike God’s gift of grace, eternal life in heaven must be gained – one’s good deeds must outweigh the bad, a principle that contradicts Romans 3:27, which says: “Can we boast, then, that we have done anything to be accepted by God? No, because our acquittal is not based on our good deeds. It is based on our faith.”

It is this reliance on actions to earn admission into heaven that defines the main discrepancy in the Islamic faith—or lack thereof. Our God is an awesome God who understands our every fault, motive, and desire, yet still loves us for the pitiful states we are in due to the “sin that so easily entangles us,” providing us with the gift of grace: a sacrifice our human hearts cannot fully comprehend even in the best of days. 

Reflecting on the earth or on the things of God?

Well, it is actually one of the fastest growing religions in America, and its ideology can be found anywhere, from your favorite TV show to the back of a cereal box. It runs deep in Hollywood pictures and on popular magazines. It is called the New Age religion. A hodgepodge of various beliefs and philosophies, it is a “tolerant” religion that seems sensible and logical.

Maybe you have heard a little about this spreading movement. . . but what is it really about? Why is this religion so dangerous? What’s wrong with a little yoga and positive thinking, you might wonder?

The danger lies in this blazing recognition: New Age is driven by Self. It is a religion that encourages you to trust in yourself and believe in yourself. It pushes you to become self-centered and self-absorbed. It focuses on self-esteem and good works as the key to salvation. The religion teaches that because we were “made in the image of God,” we are like “mini-gods.” We have an “energy” within us that hasn’t been discovered yet. . . Gems and crystals can help balance the energy within you and relieve you of anxiety. . .

The first commandment, says that we should have no other gods before Christ. In New Age, “self” is god. You become your own idol and your life’s center.

We are also not as “holy” as this religion deems us to be. Born into sin, we are a depraved race that is in desperate need of a Savior. And we cannot be saved by searching inside our hearts. There is nothing pure in us, and it is only by the grace of God that we can be called sons and daughters of Christ. We stumble, fail, disappoint, and mess-up . . . believing in ourselves will only lead us down a path of confusion and chaos.

Christ is the only thing we can put our trust in. If He is the center of our life, we will experience a joy and satisfaction unlike any other. Gems, crystals and massages may claim to bring temporary relief from our daily problems and struggles. It might feel like a brief respite, or a momentary break from the stress of our lives. Nevertheless, the pain and sorrow shortly returns. In Christ, our burdens will be lifted and our chains removed—forever. His love is not a passing feeling.

New Age is not the answer. Walking down its path will only lead you to misery and depression as you search for something to fill that every widening void in your heart. Jesus Christ is the answer to your problems, and only He can completely fill the emptiness inside your heart.

On the sophomore retreat we learned the obstacles to be faced on the road to marriage and how we can overcome them. To do this, the sophomores first gained some insight into how to make a relationship last. Although a relationship does need passion, it can’t be the foundation, or the relationship will not last long. Instead, it needs to be built on a bond and friendship first and foremost. 

The lessons we learned on this trip were, in one word: priceless. First we learned how the opposite sex thinks by having a question and answer session with the adult leaders on the trip, followed by the guys and girls breaking up in separate groups to have further discussion.

Our class also learned about honor—how it is important for girls to show the guys respect and submit to their leadership as a way of honoring them, and they in turn learned how they need to show the girls their worth. We learned that a good way of doing this is serving one another, which we did. The girls had previously investigated the guys’ interests, hobbies, and favorite foods in order to put together a gift and note of encouragement. After the nervousness of giving them their gifts had worn off, and after the relief of knowing the guys actually liked our selections had settled in, we had lunch together. This was a great way to talk to someone you hadn’t had a chance to talk to previously. However, lunch was just the tip of the iceberg.

Everyone had expectations about the date; the girls primped for hours while the guys learned about etiquette. Whatever expectations we had, I’m sure no one was expecting the deafening shriek that erupted on our bus full of girls when we pulled up and saw the guys in line, each one with a flower in their hand. We were all so excited to find out which boy we were paired with and how the date would go. Although there was some awkwardness at the beginning of the dates, it soon faded.

The guys were considerate of girls by standing up whenever we did, and by holding out our chairs for us when we sat back down. Later the girls all agreed that this made us feel respected and special. The next day our class was put into teams and participated in various activities designed to show us how to make our relationships better.

In one activity, the girls had to guide the blind-folded boys through a maze. To make it through the maze unscathed, the guys had to block out the other voices and listen intently to hear the girls’ instructions. In another activity, the teams had to get everyone over a 10-foot wall; this took perseverance and effective communication, as well as the realization that no one could get over alone.

Later that day, our class learned another lesson about honor by washing our peers’ feet. Although this act was a little odd and kind of awkward, it was extremely humbling—something we are not likely to soon forget. We continued honoring one another by recognizing individuals in our grade. Whether we were close friends with the people we chose to honor or not, this experience brought us closer together as a class.

Over all, the retreat was a success, and our class learned a lot about relationships and one another. Of course, none of us will be getting married in the near future, but it is important to put the principles we learned into practice now so that when we meet the person God has destined us to marry, we will be able to have the kind of relationship God intended us to have.

Still, these beliefs construct their purpose, their reasoning, and their actions, and therefore these beliefs construct world history. So what is our role as Christians as we come into contact with these worldviews at the grocery store, at college, at family reunions?

A few weeks ago, CCA’a National Honor Society traveled to the Refuge to reach out to the homeless. While passing through a surrounding neighborhood to distribute Easter service flyers, a group of us encountered a man of the Islamic religion—a meeting that resulted in a half-hour debate over faith. The man could quote Scripture from the Bible, and was knowledgeable regarding some of the tenants of Christianity, but he was missing the truth.

The experience of trying to tell this man about God’s love and truth impacted our group in two significant ways. First, we realized the importance of remaining calm and relying on God’s Spirit to provide the necessary scripture and words when speaking with a nonbeliever. It is easy to become offensively passionate when defending our faith, but we must realize that our aim must be to reveal God’s love, and not to offend.

In fact, Christians have the opportunity to set themselves apart by speaking the truth in love and patience, instead of appearing aggressive. Even if the impact of our words may not be visible on this side of Heaven, the way we live our lives should be, and so we must pray that the person’s heart will be softened, and that God’s truth will continue to take root in their lives.

Secondly, the encounter was a newsflash to us as Christians to know exactly how to defend our faith, not only through a deep, personal understanding of our own faith, but also through a thorough knowledge of other faiths. “You know better what you believe when you know what you don’t believe,” says Student Discipleship Director Mr. Aaron Mills. “It’s about learning those things that others or other religions teach that helps you to then define and clarify what you truly understand as truth. You look at your faith and you look at what the Bible says and you compare it, instead of just using that one faith to be the decider without having understanding of everything else. [That] doesn’t help you to come to those conclusions of what it is that I believe, and why do I believe it, because I know what I don’t believe.”

And so, over the next few weeks, The Messenger will feature a series of articles covering a selection of both world religions and worldviews that dramatically impact today’s culture. Hopefully, these articles will not only present you with a basic understanding of some of the many religious and philosophical views that shape the lives of people around you, but also will encourage you to do a little research on your own. You never know when God will use the trivia. 

What happens when a gym full of people, a passionate group of students heads for Ethiopia, and the band, Alexander, gathers together after church for a concert? The Holy Spirit speaks, inspiring us to get out of that apathetic state almost everyone finds themselves in regarding child poverty…sending us a wakeup call reminding us of the gifts God has given us to make a difference…and filling us with remorse and regret when we realize how we have wasted so much time and missed so many opportunities to do so.

A night at the Ethiopia Benefit Concert was one that no one will forget. Everyone left convicted but reminded of God’s endless mercy for us last Saturday night, March 28. To not only raise money for  Liquid’s students who are preparing to go on a missions trip to Ethiopia, but to also raise awareness, Ryan Alexander and his band composed a CD and teamed up with Compassion International to perform a benefit concert. Amazingly enough, almost all of the students going to Ethiopia on April 2nd have raised the money for their trip, so the majority of the donations received will directly help those experiencing the famine over in Ethiopia.

Alexander’s CD, Concrete and Steeples, consists of four songs that relate to what the students will be doing in Ethiopia and how, as Christians, we are called to do the same things daily. Alexander explains, “The Holy Spirit exists to rouse us with shame and if we get serious about this [world hunger, HIV, etc.] and we use our money and our time to help, God will get that much more serious about it.”

Alexander’s heart and passion for those we never see and have no voice but suffer was clearly seen throughout the night in his lyrics. In between songs, he referred to Job 29 and talked about how even though Job had everything taken from him, his worth wasn’t based on the things that he had but rather on the things of the Kingdom and the issues we are faced with today certainly are “Kingdom things.”

The night concluded with a powerful rendition of “It Is Well with My Soul,” when the Holy Spirit’s presence was felt by all. Even if you may not be able to go on a missions trip in the near future, or you feel as if you’re too small to fix this big problem, God can still use you if you are willing to dedicate your life as you store your treasures in Heaven. Be challenged to wake up from your luxurious, air-conditioned life and take part with so many others in fighting the horrific realities we as humans have created in the first place.

Small groups are the heart of the CCA high school. Triumphing over cliques, they knit the student body together with the love of Christ. They exist to make sure that every cry for help does not return unanswered, that every outstretched hand does not return empty, and that division be bridged to fuel the hunger for righteousness.

Being a student leader for two years now has changed my life. I have seen God work in the lives of my small group, co-leaders, and friends, but I think He has touched my life the most.

My faith has been challenged and stretched week by week . . . it’s not easy to put your emotions, flaws, and failures out on the table for your peers to see. At one time, when I lost a dear aunt of mine, the pain and distress inside my heart had been so great that I feared no one would understand my trouble. But God used my small group to speak to me in ways that I could not have imagined. They were His instrument of love to me in my time of need, and they never failed to be there.

What I hadn’t realized was that we were all hurting in some way or another until our “masks” came off and the truth was spoken. Through that process, God allowed us to experience a whole new level of friendship and sisterhood in Christ. We have cried and laughed alongside each other through the ups and downs, and we have not allowed the difference in age or personality to prevail. I have made some incredible new friendships, and the ones that already existed have grown deeper still. I have been, and continue to be, truly blessed by this group God has given me.