Ask Alex… Cutting: A Deep, Sharp Secret
Alex
March 12, 2010
Filed under Ask Andi, Top Stories
Dear Alex,
I keep hearing about the issue of cutting.
Why do people do it? What can we do as Christians to help them?
Cutting isn’t something that you hear much about on the nightly news or on national cover stories, but with the well-kept secret gaining more and more awareness, no one can deny its devastation on many teenagers. Teen suicide, drinking, and pregnancies seem to attract a lot of publicity, but how often is the issue of cutting addressed? The non-profit organization, To Write Love on Her Arms, raises awareness to the seriousness of self-injury.
So why do teens cut? It turns out there can be a lot of reasons why, and stress is a bigger factor than a lot of people realize. A source that asked to remain anonymous explained: “I do it because I can’t deal with all of the emotional pain that I am going through, so everything that I can’t say out loud, I bleed out.”
Something is wrong with the world when people can no longer hear the silent struggles of those around us. Since when can’t we notice a quick look of pain on a friend? The pulled-down sleeves to hide the scars? Too many people ask, “why do they do this?” That’s not the real question. The real question is “what have you done lately to help?” And the first step is to understand.
When a person cuts, it’s to express a deep frustration, a sadness and anger that just won’t go away. The pressure can come in the form of worry over schoolwork, fighting with friends, relationships, and family problems. Another reason is self-consciousness—kids today are more worried about how they look, what people think of them, how many friends they have, and if they are accepted than ever before. I don’t think we truly understand how much of what people say affects young adults. It can be a joke or a comment, a mean name, a rude remark. Any of these things can hurt someone deep enough to make him or her cut as a way to show how he or she feels, or as a form of punishment as a result of self-hatred. Something made them feel like they are unworthy or not good enough, and it may have been something we said, knowingly or not.
“…your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God[.] You are not your own,” (1 Corinthians 6:19). And cutting threatens that temple. Sometimes, cutting turns accidently fatal, and an expression of depression becomes a means of suicide.
“Its a way for them to feel in control and to deal with things,” explained Alison Stapleton.
Cutting is a dangerous expression of problems, and there are other ways to cope. You can write a poem explaining how things are, write a song, read a book, listen to music—or you can pray. “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. There fore we will not fear,” (Psalm 46:2). God can help carry the burdens that many teens and kids have today. He loves and cares about us and hates to see us struggle. If you know someone who is cutting, pray for them and tell them about a God who has already bled for us. You may just save a life.
At the time this edition was going to press, we learned that the anonymous teen accepted Christ as their Savior after a church service at Calvary. He/she feels calmer and more confident than he/she did without Him.