Ask Alex… About Divorce
Alex
March 18, 2010
Filed under Ask Andi, Top Stories
“Dear Alex, my parents have been divorced for a few years and it has been a huge struggle within my family. How can I prevent this from happening to me? And is there a biblical principle that shows me how?”
Dear Reader,
Divorce is a very powerful thing; it is the knife that cuts through a relationship of love, a separation that splits a family apart, and many times it is a well of emptiness that leaves children feeling alone. Although it may occur upon accident and seemingly for the better, divorce affects both the parents and children within a family in such a way that the mere mention of the memory brings sadness that’s unforgettable.
It’s terrible to say that divorce breaks up a family and makes the children depressed and forever broken-hearted, but it happens so much that it has become one of the main causes for rebellion and suicidal behavior among the world’s youth today. But please don’t forgey, the Lord blesses those who seek and follow Him through every circumstance and fear they encounter, and promises salvation to those who continue to follow His ways even through times of heartache and hopelessness.
In 1 Peter 4:12-13 it says, “Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.”
The Lord knows what we go through, especially for children who have divorced parents. Even though they may be broken and hurt inside, these children should know that the Lord is by their side no matter what, and that they should be reminded that Jesus Christ also went through deep suffering and heartache, and they’re not alone. Children should also learn from their parents’ example and set new principles and standards for their future marriages.
Kevin Groeneveld, CCA’s secondary school Psychology and Apologetics teacher and a family counselor, gives great advice on this subject: “These children need a healthy outlet to talk about their parents’ struggles, without the tug of war influence and they also need a good support system, whether it’s a trustworthy adult, relative, friend, teacher, or others who are honest and loving people—extended family. The nonnegotiable for these children is to honor and obey their parents, so even in a midst of a divorce, it is still important for children to love and forgive their parents, even if they don’t agree with what their parents’ decision to divorce.”
A good note to add, is that in order for children of divorced parents to be healed and follow God’s ways, they must forgive their parents, and never blame themselves for the divorce, for it had nothing to do with them. They should also make sure that they have someone that they can talk to so things are never held inside and they can live healthy lives.